The Written Word The Window to Your Soul by Kristina Kilduff

7-2-99

Here is a short story that I wrote. I am a 15 year old girl, and I really like writing.

The Window to Your Soul
by Kristina Kilduff

The window to your soul led me to believe the beauty I saw was truly there, and not just an illusion. Gazing into your eyes I saw my world. Only in this painting of my world, yours was there too. Making everything that could go wrong vanish, and turning the negative energy into something so wonderful and amazing it was almost untrue.

When I saw you, I dropped my bags filled with reality, and crossed through the watery walls into a world where the only thing that mattered was you. You and the way you made me feel. I liked being the queen, and I liked you as my king.

I gave you my heart, and warned you it had a large crack through the middle, and you said you wouldn’t let it break any more than that. In fact, one summer night while we gazed at the stars, you whispered into my ear that you were going to mend my heart. I would forget all about the time so long ago when a young boy ripped out my heart and lost it. What I would remember, was that you found it. The time we spent together was like no other. Rapped in a blanket of your love, I was never cold.

I never saw the lock on the window while I passed through. I never knew you had dark curtains, until you pulled them shut as you locked the window. You locked me in your soul, never expecting me to ever want to leave. I didn’t want to leave though. Not now anyway.

I put all my insecurities in a small box, and gave it to you to keep safe. You were the keeper of everything I had. I, once the fragile small woman who was more hurt by a small insult than by a sharp knife, was now growing strong. I was growing inside you. How was I supposed to know instead of a nice, gentle, flower growing, I was more of an infection? Weren’t you the one who offered to take on my burdens?

One day I took a walk to the window and drew the curtains. I looked out from your soul, at the world I had been ignoring. My soul looked out of your eyes, and into the empty holes in my body’s head. I looked at this pitiful woman, giving everything she had to a man who gave her no knowledge of who he was in return. All she knew of him was he had love to give. Some say that’s all that matters. It would have been, if she hadn’t been so painfully aware that he kept her life on a shelf. He did not shelter it like he had promised, and one day, I can see this woman, (me), will fall. The fall will be long. And the landing will hurt more than I anticipated.

I push and shove to remove myself from the man which I gave myself to. He laughs as he watches me struggle with the lock on the window. I did this to myself, and now I can’t get back to reality. I’ve heard more than once that if you can get yourself somewhere, you must be able to get it back. The question is; how? I am Alice in Wonderland. Two steps away from death and defeat, and a whole world away from the comfort of myself.

I want to hate this man, but if I hate him, he won’t let me out. I can’t love him, but if I don’t, I am doomed to a life of misery. Both ways I suffer. I start to sing. When I sing, no one can get through to me. The gentle melody is like a suit of armor cast over me, one that will keep me safe in times of need.

Never travel to unfamiliar territory. A mirage is fun to look at, but once you try and get there, you realize it doesn’t exist, instead, you are trapped in a cage. A suit of armor can help you for a little while, but you will have to face your mistakes sooner of later. Choosing ‘later’ won’t change a thing. In some cases it will make everything worse. Don’t let anything fool you, because once it does, it will never let you forget that it fooled you.